Sibling rivalry is a common phenomenon among brothers and sisters.
This type of competition doesn’t only create a rift between the siblings but also has an adverse impact on their emotional and social well-being.
If left unchecked, sibling rivalry can evolve into more serious issues like mistrust, resentment, and even hatred.
However, parents can help to avoid these negative consequences by learning how to handle sibling rivalry effectively.
When children compete with each other it’s natural for parents to feel uneasy or become worried about the long-term implications of this behavior on their kids.
However, this is perfectly normal!
After all, parents want what’s best for their children and that means helping them learn how to cope with potential stressors in life so they grow into happy adults.
Why does sibling rivalry occur?
Sibling rivalry is a natural phenomenon.
Although it might seem like it’s out of nowhere, lots of research has been conducted to identify the key factors that trigger sibling rivalry.
Some of the most common reasons include:
✓ Age Differences: Younger siblings usually experience a great deal of envy and resentment from their older siblings.
They might see often feel that they’re overlooked, criticized and even bullied by their older siblings because they’re “too easy to boss around.”
This can lead to a lot of friction between siblings
✓ Temperament Differences: Siblings who are more sensitive or extroverted may compete more intensely with their more reserved siblings.
This is due to the fact that more introverted or sensitive children want to avoid conflict at all costs.
Therefore, they might become overwhelmed and feel left behind by their extroverted siblings.
✓ Parental Roles: Parents naturally play different roles among their children such as the “teacher”, “friend”, or “parent.”
This can often inadvertently promote sibling rivalry among children who grow up feeling either neglected or pressured by the roles they’re expected to play in the family..
Make Sure You’re Handling the Cause.
It’s important to note that while sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up, it’s not something that you should ignore.
The best way to handle sibling rivalry is to identify the underlying cause and address this issue head-on.
In some cases, parents may be able to solve the problem by implementing small changes to their family routine.
For example, if one child is struggling with a certain subject at school and wants more attention than others, you can help your child to achieve better results by giving them a few extra hours of one-on-one time with you.
You can also create special activities that are designed only for your child.
This will help them feel special and confident, thus lowering their need to compete with their siblings.
Establish Clear Boundaries
Siblings should respect each other and understand that they’re all part of the same family.
However, this is easier said than done because children can be very competitive by nature.
When this trait becomes particularly pronounced with two or more siblings, parents should consider setting some clear boundaries.
First, you should talk to both children in a calm and firm manner about how their fighting is adversely affecting the family.
At the same time, you should inform them about the consequences of their behavior for their relationship with each other.
Second, you should set up family rules to promote respect and healthy competition among siblings.
You can find a useful template online to create a set of rules that will help your children to better coexist with one another.
Give Each Child Individual Attention
Sometimes, parents may find it difficult to give each child the attention they crave.
In such cases, siblings might feel neglected, which can trigger feelings of envy or resentment among them.
To prevent this, parents can try to find the right balance between giving each child the attention they need and maintaining a healthy relationship with their siblings.
For example, you can give your child an hour or two of special one-on-one time during the week.
This might include taking them on a shopping trip, going to their favorite restaurant, or doing something else that they enjoy.
In addition, you can also encourage your child to participate in extracurricular activities that they enjoy.
Finally, you can also try to set aside some time for one-on-one family activities.
This might include playing a game, reading a story, or having a family meeting.
Turn Competition into Collaboration
Competition among siblings can often escalate into a full-blown sibling rivalry.
To prevent this from happening, parents must work hard to promote collaboration among their children.
For example, you can try to have your children work on a project together as a family like cleaning the garage, hosting a bake sale, or organizing a neighborhood garage sale.
You can also try to have your children compete in a non-confrontational way by, for example, having them race against each other to see who can finish their chores the fastest, complete their homework first, or read the most books by the end of the week.
You can also try to have your children participate in team sports such as basketball, soccer, baseball, or football.
This will help your children to develop skills like teamwork, communication, problem-solving, and leadership.
Teach By Example
Your children will look to you for guidance on how to manage their feelings of jealousy, anxiety, and stress.
As a result, you must model appropriate behavior to your children so that they can learn from your example.
When your children are engaged in sibling rivalry, you should encourage them to take a break, breathe deeply, and walk away from each other for a few minutes.
During these break times, you should help your children to calm down by listening to them and empathizing with their feelings of frustration.
You can also encourage your children to try various strategies for managing their feelings of anger and frustration.
Some examples include:
– Letting off steam by playing a physical game such as sports or tag
– Talking out loud about their feelings by journaling, writing, or engaging in creative activities
– Meditation, yoga, or other mindfulness exercises.
Celebrate Your Children Together
As a parent, you can use sibling rivalry as an opportunity to celebrate the positive qualities that each child brings to the family.
For example, you can praise your children for their hard work and praise each child individually for their strengths, weaknesses, and interests.
This will help your children to feel more comfortable with each other and reduce feelings of competition among them.
You can also help to transform sibling rivalry into a positive experience by organizing family activities that bring your children together as a group.
For example, you can try to plan family outings like going to a theme park, taking a trip to a museum, or having a family picnic at the park.
By engaging in these types of activities, your children will develop a sense of camaraderie and feel closer to each other as a group.
Conclusion
All children want to feel like they belong, but this can be difficult when there are more than two kids in the house.
Siblings are often competing with each other for attention, approval and resources.
While this is normal, it can also cause a lot of tension.
Parents can help reduce this by making sure each child feels special, setting clear boundaries, giving each child individual attention, and turning competition into collaboration.
